


Of Hearts and Minds and Shining Stars

by CheCheCheer



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji is Bad at Feelings, But i like to think he is silently judging Keiji from afar, Canon Compliant, Dont let the summary fool you Kenma is only there once, Excessive use of the word star bec I'm an unoriginal idiot, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Marriage, Pining, Pining Akaashi Keiji, Through the Years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:46:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25474099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheCheCheer/pseuds/CheCheCheer
Summary: (Keep going! His heart screamed.Stop while you still can! His mind roared.Keiji was scared. He was so, so scared. But Bokuto needed to hear this. He needed to hear that there was at least one person who would support him no matter what. Keiji could do that at least, for the star with the salt and pepper hair and the golden eyes, and the smiles that put the sun to shame. He could give Bokuto that much, even if it came at his own expense.For the first time, Keiji listened to his heart.)-----------------Or in which Keiji is a gay disaster who can't e m o t i o n, much to the dismay of Kenma.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 12
Kudos: 73





	Of Hearts and Minds and Shining Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Hoo boy this is my first fic ever. Like, I write all the time, but I've never done fan fiction, and this is my first time posting my writing. But I figured, hey, I got this account, might as well use it, right? So I decided to experiment with a new writing style which is why things may sound kinda clunky.
> 
> Anyway, I absolutely ADORE these owl idiots, and I had to write them something. Bokuaka nation, come get y'all juice. Anyhoo, if you enjoyed do drop a comment I thrive on praise.

Star’s were a curious thing, Keiji knew, but he had never bothered to pay them much mind until one had come crashing into his life. Seated high up in the bleachers at a Fukorodani match, he would later pinpoint this exact moment as when he found something to dedicate his life to, to help achieve more than it could on its own. And of all things for an overachiever like him to be devoted too, how fitting for it to be something so drastically out of his reach.

Star’s were distant and stars were bright. If Keiji were so bold as to compare himself to the world, then this star with the salt and pepper hair would be so impossibly far from him, that Keiji would have no hope of ever reaching it. But he was not one to give up, spurred on by the pure, unadulterated feeling of awe, and so he made his decision right then and there.

Said decision led him to the front gates of Fukorodani on his first day of first year. The school itself was not of interest to him. He was here for the volleyball club, and when he stepped up to introduce himself to said club, his eyes were drawn to the boy with salt and pepper hair standing off to the side, watching. His eyes were as golden as the star’s Keiji compared him too.

And when the star approached him after practise, demanding spiking practise, there was really nothing for him to say but yes. He was here for a reason. He was the kind of person who helped others reach their true potential, and help he would do.

_Help the star shine bright. His mind chanted._

__

_Become friends with the star. His heart shouted back._

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_Keiji was not here for personal desires. He listened to his mind._

____

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_(‘How presumptuous of me,’ Keiji thought later that night, ‘to assume that I am fit to be the companion of a star.’)_

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\----------------------------------------------------------

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Bokuto-san, as Keiji had come to call the star, was not perfect no matter how brightly he may shine, as Keiji came to find one day.

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It was the first practise match of the season, barely a month after Keiji had joined the team, and Bokuto’s spikes had been getting blocked over and over. It was odd for Keiji, to see a star struggling to be the brightest in the room, but it was happening in front of his eye. More shocking yet was when Bokuto seemed to deflate after the first set, hiding under a nearby table much like Keiji’s cousins would do when throwing a tantrum. 

__

His teammates seemed to ignore the dimmed star, telling Keiji that it was normal. Would it be normal, he wondered, if the stars all stopped shining one night? Normal if they're blinding light just shut off? No it would not. The star’s did not simply dim, and this one would be no exception.

__

So Keiji walked over to the star with the salt and pepper hair and coaxed him out with careful words and praises. He sheltered the star’s light as it grew stronger and stronger, burning brighter than before. By the time the second set was beginning, the star was back, burning and bright and blew through the blocks that had previously taunted him. The star shone as blinding as the day Keiji had found it.

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_(As Keiji walked home in the dark, he resolved to learn everything about what got the star with the salt and pepper hair down, and to learn how to lift him back up again.)_

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\----------------------------------------------------------

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Keiji is nearly inseparable from his star. They stay late after practise,they eat lunch together, they meet on the train heading to school and walk back together after. Keiji can’t fathom why this incredible being is spending his time with him, but he doesn't complain. 

__

He has a companion in his star, he realizes. Somehow, he’s closed the distance just a tad, earned the right to call his star a friend. And he is called a friend in return. It’s common knowledge throughout the school, Bokuto and Akaashi are a pair. Where one is, the other can't be far, and Keiji would be lying if he said the thought didn’t please him.

__

Keiji cherishes his star, far more than he did when it was simple awe and admiration drawing him close. They study together, Keiji coming up with plethora’s of volleyball metaphors to explain biology and his star nod’s along. The end of the school year is coming, bringing with it final exams and Keiji find’s himself cramming with his star often. 

__

They study a bit before they start goof off as children do and Keiji think’s if the rest of his life was like this he would be happy. His star shines his light onto Keiji’s life, making it far brighter than it ever was before, simply because his star exists.

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_(‘My star,’ Keiji thought as he lay awake, moonlight framing his face. ‘When did I start calling him that?’_

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_You’re not fit to equal a star. His mind reminds him._

_____ _

_____ _

_Does it matter though? His heart shoots back.)_

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\----------------------------------------------------------

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His star was to be captain, and Keiji was to be his vice. The pair had been told that as the former third year’s received their diplomas and left the school, never to return. The volleyball club they cherished was now in the hands of Keiji and his star, and Keiji found the idea overwhelming.

____

The pair had wandered out onto the school roof top as it grew dark, the festivities dying down beneath their feet as the star’s revealed themselves in the sky. The wind nipped Keiji’s face and he resisted the urge to slink closer to his star for warmth.

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"Hey Akaashi?" Bokuto asked suddenly, turning to him with those eyes of molten starlight. "Do you think i'm going to be a good captain?"

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"You’re going to be the greatest. It won’t be difficult at all." Keiji replied with no hesitation. For what other answer could he offer up his star?

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_(‘And if it is, I’ll struggle so you don't have to.’ His unsaid word’s rang in his head.)_

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And his star beamed. His smile lit up the sky far better than the moonlight did, and Keiji could swear his heart stuttered. Was he truly so far gone?

____

_(Keiji realized that Bokuto never smiled at anyone else like that.)_

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And then all at once it was over. Bokuto turned his head to the sky and Keiji followed his gaze. Bokuto raised his hand to the sky, and pointed out a constellation shining bright, one that Keiji had seen in his textbooks many times. They stood there for what seemed like hours, the wind whipping around them, just admiring the tiny pinpricks of light, pointing out constellations to each other. Keiji tried not to let himself stare at the profile of his star.

____

"The star’s are really something, aren't they?" Bokuto remarked. "They’re so beautiful."

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_(I think you're more beautiful than any of these stars. His heart sang._

_____ _

_Don’t tether him down to you. His mind rebuked._

______ _ _

______ _ _

_Bokuto was meant to fly high. Keiji would only hold him down. He listened to his mind.)_

_____ _

\-----------------------------------------------------------

_____ _

At Keiji’s second training camp, whatever doubts he had about his feelings were erased. His heart swelled with affection as he watched his star jump around, as filled with energy as ever as he coached Karasuno’s number ten in all of the spiking knowledge he had amassed. This was merely admiration, he told himself. It’s natural to admire one brighter than you.

_____ _

He sat with Kenma as Bokuto and Kuroo got up to whatever mischief they did and his heart seemed to beat faster than normal as he watched his star, his ace, his friend. 

_____ _

"You like him?" 

_____ _

Keiji startled, and turned to the smaller boy sitting next to him. Kenma’s knowing gaze was fixed on Keiji, for once not fixated on the 3DS in his hands. "Bokuto. You like him."

_____ _

"He’s my captain." Keiji replied briskly. "I like him just fine."

_____ _

Kenma’s eyes narrowed. They were golden, shining, but they aren't as bright as his star’s. "No. It’s more than that."

_____ _

"I don't know what you mean."

_____ _

Kenma shrugged and turned his attention back to his game. "You shouldn't lie to yourself."

_____ _

_(Keiji watched his star as all of the team’s crowded around, the barbecue that was organized in full swing. Bokuto was truly the light of the group, there was no doubt about that. He outshone the rest, not because he was a star, but because he was Bokuto, because he was Keiji’s captain, his ace, his best friend._

______ _ _

_I think i may love him. His heart whispered._

_______ _ _ _

_That isn't a lie. His mind admitted._

________ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _

_Kenma was more perspective than Keiji thought.)_

_______ _ _ _

\--------------------------------------------------------------

_______ _ _ _

Keiji had known Bokuto for nearly two years, and never had he seen his star as crushed as he was when they lost at nationals. Fukurodani had fought hard, but in the end it hadn't mattered. This was Bokuto’s last chance at nationals, and they had come so far to getting it only to fail at the last minute. 

_______ _ _ _

Keiji sat in the deserted locker room with his star, for once at a loss for words. What do you say to someone who has had they're dreams crushed? 

_______ _ _ _

"It’s my fault." Bokuto muttered, his voice the only thing cutting the silence. "I missed that spike. I’m a failure."

_______ _ _ _

"Your not!"

_______ _ _ _

Bokuto smiled at him wistfully. "Your just saying that to make me feel better."

_______ _ _ _

"No." Keiji insisted. "I’m not. You’re not a failure." 

_______ _ _ _

"How do you know that?"

_______ _ _ _

Keiji sucked in a breath. How do you convey to someone that they are the light of your life, that they make everything better just by existing? How do you show someone that they shine brighter than anyone else?

_______ _ _ _

"Because you're a star."

_______ _ _ _

The word's were out before Keiji could stop them. Bokuto looked up at him, surprised. Too late to stop now. 

_______ _ _ _

"Because you're a star. You inspire me. Whenever something knocks you down, you always get back up and get going again. You’ve never given up before now and you wont start now. I’m never going to abandon you or blame you for trying." 

_______ _ _ _

_(Keep going! His heart screamed._

_______ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _

_Stop while you still can! His mind roared._

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_Keiji was scared. He was so, so scared. But Bokuto needed to hear this. He needed to hear that there was at least one person who would support him no matter what. Keiji could do that at least, for the star with the salt and pepper hair and the golden eyes, and the smiles that put the sun to shame. He could give Bokuto that much, even if it came at his own expense._

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_For the first time, Keiji listened to his heart.)_

_________ _ _ _ _ _

"Because I love you."

_________ _ _ _ _ _

They both held their breath. Bokuto stared at him with those golden eye’s Keiji so adored, shock reflected in them. Keiji, for his part, was still reeling. He has just blurted out what he was so scared to admit to himself like it was nothing, right in front of the object of his affections. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

For a long moment, nothing happened and Keiji was sure he had made a terrible mistake. Then before he knew what was happening, his star enveloped him in a crushing hug, they're lips smashed together, Keiji’s breath knocked out. 

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_(His heart screamed and hollered, overjoyed._ _His mind sat quiet for a long moment._

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___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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_...Maybe we had nothing to worry about. His mind finally admitted.)_

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\---------------------------------------------------------

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Keiji adjusted the glasses on his nose as he watched his star slam the ball down onto the other side of the court. The stadium hollered, as Koutarou cheered, the blinding grin Keiji had fallen in love with on proud display. 

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__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

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He turned to where Keiji sat, and though to everyone else he just appeared to be waving to his fans, aimlessly looking out into the crowd, Keiji knew he was looking for him. Keiji waved to his star, unable to help his own smile, and the wedding band on his finger glinted in the stadium lights. Though he couldn't see it from where he was, he knew his star was wearing the matching one.

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__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

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Keiji watched, content, as Koutarou turned to return to the game, the stadium quieting as they waited for the next play. Idly, Keiji thought that this was quite reminiscent of when he first saw his star, and was first stricken by how bright he shown. Sitting high up in the bleachers, he fondly watched Koutarou as he prepared to serve. 

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__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

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Star, Captain, Best friend, Husband, Koutarou had been so many things for Keiji over the years. Keiji couldn't express how grateful he was to have discovered this shining star so many years ago.

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__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

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_(His mind and his heart sat at peace, long ago having stopped quarrelling over the matter of Bokuto Koutarou._

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___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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_He’s never shone brighter. They told Keiji._

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____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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_Keiji was inclined to agree.)_

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End file.
